Where is the trust? I ask you!

Ok, so I said that this blog was going to read like a diary, this means that you will be subjected to ups – downs and the odd random thingymijig.

So this week has been a strange one, its felt a little like swimming through treacle. Lots of energy has been expended but I haven’t really got anywhere.

Im not entirely sure why. I was a little worried about my health as I was getting some mahoosive nosebleeds but the Dr confirmed my worst fears, looks like nothing is wrong and you will all just have to put up with me for a little longer.

Anyway, back to the blog!

I was talking to my youngest the other day about her social life and how she feels liberated because she has her mobile phone and now can go to parties and we can trust her because we can “contact her whenever we like.”

That got me thinking a little bit, where I come from we where very deprived, the place was a dive and none of the parents of the kids that I knew had a job or even an above breadline income. Don’t go awwww, we didn’t know the difference. We knew that other people had money, but didn’t really experience it.

The result of this was that only 2 or my circle of friend even had a telephone installed, and if we wanted to speak to them we had to use a phone box. Where is this leading? I hear you ask, there is a point and ill get to it.

So when I said “Im off to Graham’s, ill be back in a bit” to my mother, the reply was “OK son!” and with that I made my way out to do whatever. She wouldn’t give it a second thought.

The interesting thing is that she trusted me totally, there was never any doubt about my whereabouts or who I was with, she simply trusted me to be ok. If she needed me, she would open the big window in the living room and holler her ass off. (all mums did this, it didn’t bother anyone.) Often we would be told “Stay within shouting distance, (which was probably about a mile!) And ill call you in for your tea”.

Eventually I would hear her and come home.

If I wasn’t called home I would roll in several hours later to a welcome and a smile – not a “where have you been young man?” she just had to take it as read that I was ok and I didn’t get up to anything.

So what happened?

We have mobile phones now, we can contact our kids whenever we please. It takes a split second to sling a message across the sky and they can reply from any location in an instant. Kids typically don’t wander any further than they did before and certainly don’t get into any more trouble than we did. CCTV cameras are everywhere, mobiles can be checked. And a ring round can reveal a Childs location within 10 or so minutes.

But still even with this technology, why do we feel like we have to keep our children in a box and only let them out when we are absolutely positively sure that its safe? The truth is that even with this technology, kids have never been this imprisoned. Stuck inside, physiologically locked in rooms in our houses and told that the world will eat them if they ever go out by themselves.

So what changed? What made the trust go away? Why do we buy our kids games consoles to prevent them form being in the world?

Ill tell you why, because we as a people no longer trust each other.

When I was 8 I would leave the house and several things would happen. Firstly my mum was confident in the people around us. The “Adults” that lived in the area we lived in would actively watch to make sure that kids where behaving, and the parents expected it! If I was caught trying to set a bin on fire by a stranger I would expect a good twatting for it. But for the same token if I was in trouble I could rely on the help of a stranger to save me. Many times while being chased by a few lads or whatever I could round a corner, see a random person and ask for their help, and I could trust to get it.

Now no one wants to trust anyone else, if a young person asks for my help, my first instinct is not to help without hesitation, its usually to perform a quick risk assessment based on their Age, sex, clothing type, general demeanour, and lastly whether or not they might actually be in danger, and I know that im not the only one that thinks like that.  

Why are we scared for our kids? Because the community we used to trust, no longer exists. Parents no longer trust other parents, adults don’t trust the kids them selves, and the kids are taught from a VERY early age that unless you know a person they are NEVER to be trusted. Even the authorities are not to be trusted, I fear them as a parent, I know they are watching me, checking that im bringing my kids up according to their socially and politically correct guidelines and making sure that they are happy at all times. Parents don’t even trust themselves any more.

The funny thing is, the community and all of those people are the same, it’s the same mums and dads, the same kids and the same problems exist. The world is NOT full of monsters and it WONT eat you.

But why should you believe me?

You wont, because you don’t trust me.